when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
