You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
