We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
