I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
