he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
no you cant smoke seaweed
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
you never un-have a 4some
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
