Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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