hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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