I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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