How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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