my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
worst night to have a conscience
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
