sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
