There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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