i think my mom watched the whole time
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
