"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
