could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
