i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I could fuck to npr.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
