It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
