it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
