No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
