And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
