New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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