You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
