Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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