Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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