I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
