I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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