youre lurking in front of me
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
