Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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