if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
