My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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