How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
