so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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