it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
