he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
