do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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