VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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