I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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