What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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