Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Randomize
