New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
