i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
