So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
