The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
