Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
