Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
