biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
