i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
