She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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