i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
