from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
