sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
