you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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