And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
